General Sam

Introduction
General Sam is a controversial YouTuber, titty-streamer and podcast-man. He is mainly known for producing the worst content available on the internet, and for looking like a lesbian Ed Kemper. His podcast, "Foreskin Fables", tackles many important topics such as advanced masturbation techniques, the ethics of having non-consensual sex with zombies and how to get away with murder. His fanbase consists of racists, retards and rapists.

Early Life
General Sam was born as Samantha McJewerson sometime in history. At his birth, he was identified as a girl since his penis was too tiny for the doctor to see. Ever since then, Sam has contested this claim and now identifies as a man.

It didn't take long to realize that Sam was retarded, and as such he was committed to "The Tallahasse School for the Mentally Impaired". At this school, he failed every grade, made no friends and subsequently dropped out of high school after having been caught molesting himself with a broom.

Downfall
After failing high school, he began working as a hot air balloon repairman. However, he didn't do much repairing and instead ended up sabotaging each air balloon, killing roughly 16 people. Before his boss could report Samantha to the authorities, he died under mysterious circumstances.

With the cops breathing down Samantha's neck, he decided to move in with her mom where he could stay hidden. This is when he started his YouTube career. The first videos that were published were criticized for being "unethical, illegal and repulsive". The reason for this backlash is that Samantha uploaded videos where he dressed up as a KKK member in a videogame called "Rust", and he would hunt down people with black character models and call them racial slurs.

During his time at his mom's house, he became lonely and started coming up with different methods of masturbating. One of these methods involved having sex with a wall in the shower, and sadly the wall was diagnosed with HIV.

After growing tired of banging the wall, Samantha kidnapped a girl named Abby from a different school and forced her to live with him in his mom's house. This led to his incarceration. He was charged with kidnapping and was sentenced to fifteen consecutive life sentences in an undisclosed location in Tallahasse. Abby also tried to charge him with sexual assault, but due to the fact that Sam never managed to get her "penis" hard he did not have the necessary size needed to perform penetration. Abby went on to have two children with a different man, but Sam claims that these children are his in an effort to prove the he is not a virgin (he is).

Currently, Sam produces his content from the confines of her prison cell. He uses a green screen to give the illusion that he is not sharing a bed with a hung black guy, but that is his real situation.

Trivia

 * Sam lost all of his life savings at the stock market
 * Sam tried to sell his daughter at a gas station
 * Sam has had sexual intercourse with a wall in his shower
 * Sam has more estrogen than a woman during her menstruation

Known associates

 * AquaFps - Crackhead known for impersonating Jake Gyllenhall
 * Poob - Washed up college graduate, now under Sam's control
 * Bryan - Economic mastermind, learned how to get paid for doing nothing
 * Stalltt - Sam's right hand man, but hates Sam with a passion
 * Ted Kaczynski - AKA The Unabomber, killed and wounded multiple people using IED's
 * John McAfee - Created the worst anti-virus software known to man, was also a drug addict before he killed himself after being on Sam's podcast